Harefield United....

[buck rogers]

watch out you dont get a stiff neck looking up to the top of table from down there!!

[samuelsmiles]

Reed, you thoroughly loathsome half-wit.

 

I have lately returned to Harefield Manor after a rather pleasant day at Lords in the company of the famed homosexual, Stephen Fry, and the renowned non-homosexual, Michael Parkinson. Congratulations to England, very well done chaps.

 

However, far be it for me to wish the pox upon your already plague infested existence, but my Daphne has returned with the Bentley all fixed up and both are pleasantly firing on all cylinders once again. Daphne's leprosy has healed nicely.

 

I understand that Benson my butler has engaged in some correspondence with you. Well this afternoon, for his troubles, I shot him in the pantry with the elephant gun. Not a pleasant site, but I will not have Benson interfering with my connections without permission.

 

Reed, you most objectionable, dull witted, pea brained simpleton, the pigeon equation problems are being looked at presently and, once the plans are perfected, the sky rat will be permanently disabled.

 

I may be spending some more time in the home.

[samuelsmiles]

Reed, you filthy swine, maybe you'd like to take a look at this.

[Giant Reed]

Smiles, I thought you should know that I have just bought a pigeon from a very nice man in trafalgar square for the bargain price of seventeen pounds.

He informs me that It Is a "racing" pigeon of some repute,and I have therefore entered it into a race next tuesday,at Fontwell,over the jumps.

My only problem was what to name the bird?

I immediately thought of "Daphne", because the bird twitches,has only one eye,and is doubly incontinent.

Unfortunately,I have been informed that the bird is,in fact,male,(or a "bull" as I believe they're called),so I have decided to name it after you.

However,when he wears his coat with "Samuelsmiles" emblazoned proudly on the back,the lettering gets scrunched up, and the name reads as "manslime".

I believe he will be carrying extra weight,and wearing blinkers,which does remind one of Daphne,so he'll be a good bet each way,again so like Daphne.

[Rhodes]

Are Harefield United entertaining Hitchin Town in a friendly tomorrow at Preston Park, I've seen it mentioned.

[Rhodes]

It's no wonder Samuelsmiles is quiet, Harefield United entertained Beaconsfield SYCOB this afternoon and lost 5-1 in what was a poor performance, I gather they have lost quite a few players who were instrumental last season.

[samuelsmiles]

The Mighty Hares 4 Potters Bar 1

 

I headed for Preston Park with trepidation after hearing from certain sources (see above) that most of last season's team had deserted the club and the mighty Hares were now rubbish.

 

Bad news, this squad is even stronger than last season's and the football played in the first half was just superb. A first half hat-trick for Danny Buckle and one from somebody else gave them a 4-0 first half lead although PB did sneak one in the second half.

 

The new right back looks top drawer, the new centre backs looked top drawer, the new wingers top drawer, the new centre midfielder top drawer and the new centre forward top drawer.

 

Can't wait for the new season to start now. I'm looking forward to going to the new clubs like Dunstable (please sweep up the empty bottles of stella and spent johnnies) , Hillingdon, Hatfield and Aylesbury, and to the old foes like Chalfont, and Leverstock Green.

 

Sorry for the bad news Rhodes, but the team that finishes above the mighty Hares this season will win this league. I don't think anyone will. (I did say that at the start of last season though)

 

Also, Biggleswade, when you come to town for the FA Cup match (once Haringey have duly been gubbed) you're in for a big surprise.

 

Reed, you filthy swine, i'll be coming to Windsor in the Bentley soon.

[Giant Reed]

Samuel,the welcome will be warm.

 

The beer will be cold.

 

The conversation will be spiritual.

 

Just promise me you won't bring Rhodes with you!

[Rhodes]

Originally Posted By: samuelsmiles

Sorry for the bad news Rhodes, but the team that finishes above the mighty Hares this season will win this league. I don't think anyone will

Yes but you haven't explained the 5-1 home defeat to Beaconsfield SYCOB on Saturday, what happened.

[samuelsmiles]

Because I wasn't at the game. I'm still being investigated for the grievous wounding of a butler, and the police had questions. It's all a bit complicated at the moment.

 

Tell ya what, let's just concentrate on the magnificent dismantling of a Ryman League team for now, eh.

[neutralbob]

how many top drawers have u got samuelsmiles? cant be room for ALL of those players surely?

 

apparently the hares actually played well V beaconsfield on sat, albeit beaconsfield had 5 of their usual first 11 missing. Started brightly, played good football but nothing in final third whereas beaconsfield took their chances, 2nd half harefield didnt do much at all apparently, good footballing side with no cutting edge apparently

[samuelsmiles]

Neutralbob, you're absolutely right, of course there won't be room for all of those top drawer players currently vying for a place in the mighty Hares squad.

 

Some of those poor buggers will, i'm sure, have to leave and end up at clubs such as.....oh, I don't know....Uxbridge, Hillingdon, Wealdstone. Maybe even, God forbid, Windsor & Eton.

 

I'm sure the Harefield School of Footballing Science management team has identified those who will be needed for the Spartan League/Vase double. Such a vast array of talent to choose from.

 

The HareForce is ready for take off.

[Priceless!]

i opes you mean the RHF mr smiley. Shudnt split hares over it. Bunny ol world ait it?

[NeutralFan]

NB, how the devil are you? Can't keep up with all your holiday updates!! Who are you training with?

[sabj8]

Potters Bar are a very pooooor side who have signed players from the herts county league and have lost all there players from last season they will finish bottom of the ryman north league i watched Broxbourne beat them 3-1 and it should have been 6or7-1 so dont pin ur hopes on 1 game ag a poor side and they struggled to a 1-1 draw with haringey i think as well which says it all really!!!!!!!!!

[Rhodes]

Originally Posted By: sabj8

Potters Bar are a very pooooor side

They have never really been the same since Football Man walked away from Parkfield, I know we have our differences but he would have never allowed them to fall into such decline

[neutralbob]

Mr NF, im good thanks mate, not played for 2yrs but done pre season at baconsfield, didnt play sat as had a wedding to go to but played 2 games and so far so good so will wait and see i guess

 

how u been? still old and past it?

[NeutralFan]

Good luck.. I see Tenners has been threatening to play as well?

 

I'm good ... and yes, even older and even more past it!

[neutralbob]

yeah he has been down with us too, done well so far, will probably do his usual and throw the toys out the pram after a clouple more games tho lol

 

thought so! :-)

[the hare]

potter bar poor ? couldnt be there myself but have been told harefield did play very well in the first half and maybe took the foot off the gas.

 

we dont want to end up missing out again on goal differance so lets crush those teams and ramp up the goals this season.

 

promoted bedfont green visit preston park on tuesday night 7.45pm kick off so no excuses, harefield should have everyone available.

 

come on rhodes the 331 bus from uxbridge stopes right outside lets see you there and decide for yourself how good harefield might be this season!!