Police Investigation

[behindthegoal]

Mystery surrorunded the disappearance of John Hopkins from Wickford last night.

 

Mr Hopkins was due to referee the match between Ebbsfleet and Histon in the BSP but seemed to have been replaced by an imposter.

 

All seemed well as the match started but after 30 minutes or so it became clear that the "referee" was out of his depth. A Police spokesman said "The man clearly had little knowledge of football and only a very basic grasp of the laws".

 

As the match went on the man who was dressed as a match official became more and more erratic in his behaviour. The Police spokesman continued "The man would appear to have serious mental problems and is a potential menace. We would urge the public not to approach him as he could well be dangerous".

 

Police refused to confirm if the man was assisted by two accomplices also dressed as match officials. "As far as we are aware they were both proper assistant referees" said the spokesman, although he admitted that it was "hard to tell".

 

He continued "Despite having over 1200 witnesses we have only a vague description to go on. Most witnesses described the man as a T******, a W****** and a B******. We seem to be looking for a short-sighted imbecile of uncertain parentage" he said. "It is not much to go on - there are many men fitting this description who dress in this way".

 

The FA had earlier confirmed that it had contributed 20p to the reward fund set up to help find Mr Hopkins. "We wanted to show just how much we value Mr Hopkins" said a spokeswoman.

"He is one of our busiest officials and almost single-handed keeps our disciplinery team fully employed".

 

The mystery man disappeared after the game. Police confirmed this morning that Mr Hopkins is still missing and said that they remained concerned. "This could well be a loss to football" said the spokesman "Just how much is still not clear".

 

However if you have any further information on this case Police have suggested that you keep it to yourself for now....

 

[Lord Horn]

This is so good, I hope you don't mind me pasting on the MyFC site.

[behindthegoal]

...feel free.

[Lord Horn]

Many thanks.....what a meglomaniac t**t he really was!