Needed a "giggle"

[Cookie]

Two men dressed in Airline Pilots uniforms walk up the aisle of the plane.Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog,and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up.

The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.

The plane starts moving faster and faster down the tarmac and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the runway.

As it begins to look as though the plane will plough into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.

At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air.

The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.

In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says,'You know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna f*ckin' die.

[CubinLetch]

 

[dannyriding]

made me chuckle - cheers tony

[AncientBlue]

And me.

[Cookie]

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized...

 

"Well", said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a

teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub".

 

"Oh,I understand", said the visitor! "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup".

 

"No",said the Director, "a normal person would pull the plug".

 

"Do you want a bed near the window?"

[Fanet Blu]

 

Osama Bin Laden sent out a new video to prove he was still alive, in it

he said SPURS were sh*t!!

 

Britsh intelligence dismissed it saying: ''That could have been recorded

anytime in the last 18 years''...

 

 

What's the difference between Tottenham and a Bucket of sh*t?

 

The Bucket.

-

 

 

---------------------------------------------------------

A tourist is in North London one Saturday and he decides he would very

much like to go to a football match, so he asks a man in the street if

there are any local matches being played that afternoon.

 

"Well," replies the man, "the Arsenal ground is very close but they're

playing away today. If you feel you really must see a match, the

Tottenham ground is not that far away. You go straight down this road

and you'll see two queues, a big queue and a small queue.

 

You should go to the small queue because the big one is for the fish and

chip shop."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------------

 

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead

Tottenham fan?

A: Skid marks in front of the dog.

 

 

[Iris's Tea Hut]

Again, Fanet Blu, I find myself saying "Oi! cut it out". Simply no humour in it. At all. Ever.

[Frankie100]

Not another Spurs fan ITH???

[Iris's Tea Hut]

Why so surprised? There are quite a few of us classy folk in Fannit you know. Unfortunately we are persecuted and hounded underground by Gooners, Manyoo and faux Chelski supporters - Jealous of our poise and dignity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And our eternal optimism. That glass is ALWAYS half full!

[Frankie100]

My Dad is a Spurs supporter and has promised that if I continue with my Spurs digs he will set fire to my Margate shirt.........when I am wearing it!!!!!

 

Ezekiel is a spurs supporter so that is good enough reason to hate them let alone everything else

[Tony_T]

Originally Posted By: Frankie100

Ezekiel is a spurs supporter so that is good enough reason to hate them let alone everything else

Ezekiel is still a councillor - that is good enough reason to hate him!!!

[Iris's Tea Hut]

Ezekiel is alot of things, but a fan of any kind of football he most definately is NOT!!! And that's not me slagging him for the sake of it. That is proved by his actions / inactions, words and deeds over the last decade. He is probably marginally less of a fan of football than he is a person who always has public service foremost in his mind!!

 

And as far as your dad burning your shirt is concerned, I would never advocate violence. I learned from the Spurs back line over many seasons that to turn your back is always the best way to treat those attacking you. Do nothing. Or watch. Or scratch your head.

 

[Frankie100]

The Spurs back line is certainly doing that this season.

 

As for Ezekiel he was interviewed the the local a couple of years ago and when asked about sports he liked we is quoted as saying

 

Rugby, I support Thanet Wanderers

 

Football I support Spurs

 

Note no mention of supporting Margate or Ramsgate and his actions have shown that

[AncientBlue]

Oragami Bank folds in Japan

1 October, 2008

 

Following the financial crisis on Wall Street uncertainty has now hit the banking sector in Japan.

 

In the last seven days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.

 

Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.

 

While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.

 

A spokesman for Haiku Holdings was lost for words over the financial crisis, while according to rumours Nippon Bank was starting to feel the pinch.

 

Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared staff may get a raw deal.

 

Meanwhile Geisha Bank has bowed to the inevitable and shut.

 

One trader lamented: "It's all gone to Shiitake."

 

[AncientBlue]

ANNOUNCEMENT

 

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size.

 

This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

 

[Cookie]

Excellent AB. Both got me giggling there. Thanks, I needed that today.