african interest in the urchins

[Uncle Urchin]

the club have received a letter today apparently from the consortium poised to take over newcastle united...it would seem they want a southern based nursery club to run alongside of a north eastern based nursery club in the lower leagues...our recent cup exploits have obviously caught their attention...this is the letter...

 

Dearest Sirseys

 

We are the General Factisimo Treasurers of the Lagos Self Funding Overseas Investment Society and have been requested by our Senior Finance Committee to make inroads into purchasing (at very attractive rates) two Non League Clubs to act as youthfulness nurseries after our International Groups takeover of the Newcastle United.

 

We apologise for breaking protocol by contacting you directly but could find no intent from lawyers acting on your behalf in recent matters. The last legal institution acting for you apparently sold out on the back of huge profits and moved to Bombay.

 

Now the matter is most simple as far as these matters are concerned in matters of much privacy, we have had our International Brokers scouring the North and South for a club worthy of merit and attention to our causes and after ignoring such lesser ships as ROMFORD AFC FC and DURHAM MINERS ASSOCIATED FC we have singled out both yourselves at AFC HORNCHURCH FC and FC BISHOP AUCKLAND AFC and are prepared to make a considerable offer for the entire share capital of both clubs into the sum of sterling seven figures each (this can be deposited offshore in a safe haven should your honourable members so dictate such services) we are men of many and much means and are supported by the International African Council of Conciliatory Councellors.

 

We shall require please, within seven working days, confrimation of your willingness to conclude a transaction of these sorts and details of your banking facilities and swift transfer codes so that we may make a substantial deposit on your behalf as a matter of good faith to you there in the UNITED KINGDON from us here in NIGERIA.

 

May God please and protect you from all vagrancies and others malcontents and may he have such luck as is available, available to us. HANDS ACROSS THE WATERS is our partnership motto.

 

Yours most trustingly

 

Mongo Addabongo

 

Chief Executive To The

Executive Treasury

[Bitch]

Pike! Don't tell them your name Pike!

[Hasbeen]

Tell em we like to cut out the banking establishments in the current climate and if they can leave vast amounts of money in the bins at Bridge Ave we'll assess their offer thereafter

[Baron of Black Fen]

Wouldn't it be cheaper to buy Nigeria?

[AncientBlue]

Proposed new stand at the Bridge if deal goes ahead.

 

[Miss.A.F.C.Hornchurch]

[Greg_Dyke]