Whilst on the subject of Bullies

[Krooner]

I went along to watch one of our U10 games on Saturday. I have never seen such a disgraceful performance from players and coaches in a youth game. The match was officiated by a young lad who clearly lacked confidence and when he wasnt sure of a decision he would look at one of the home team coaches who directed him every time to give the decision in their favour even when it was clearly not theirs. I felt sorry for the young lad. Anyway one of our parents then appealed loudly for something. He was told immediately to be quiet and leave the ref alone by me. The home coach ran up to him and aggresively shouted in his face to shut up. Nicely done mate. There were a number of tackles that were out of order but by far the worst wasi n the 2nd half. One of our boys was running down the wing and a home player came across and took him out knee height. This honestly could have seriously injured the lad. It happened right in front of his mum and she was clearly upset. The boy came off crying and injured and it was only then the home coach apologised. Then I would say a minute later the same coach shouted "Come on lads get stuck into them". I thought the mum was going to hit him. The whole match was just a game played by a team of bullies run by a team of bullies. I have complained to the league and my parents have been given the option to refuse to play them in the return match.

 

when you have teams and people like that in Youth football then football has no hope.

[Krooner]

Oh and on at least one occasion one of our players were told to "F*** off" by one of the opposing players.

[Teflon]

That is shocking Kroons, this team need to be taught the rights and wrongs very quickly.

 

I think you have done the right thing by reporting the team and giving the players the option in playing this team again.

 

Did you speak to the young ref after the game regarding his performance, not regarding his decisions.

[Krooner]

I didn't Teffs. My parents were under strict instructions not to say anything. The parent who did was told in no uncertain terms by me not to do it again. I thanked the ref after the game and he actually apologised for a couple of decisions and I said that there was no need to apologise as he had given them cos he thought they were correct. The league we play in you have to appoint your own refs and I would suggest he was the son of one of the coaches and I was not looking for any form of confrontation which I beleive it would have been if I had.

[Teflon]

That's understandable Kroons considering the conduct of your opposition, I just wondered if you had offer him some guideance for the future.

 

 

I agree that parents should not be confronting the refs at these games or appealing for decisions and only speak to the ref when thanking him after the game.

 

[SurreyLegend]

i actually love Krooner. He speaks with such a level head all the time

[Big J R]

As you know, I support youth football as much as I can, so here's my thruppance worth.

 

Young referees have to start somewhere, and unfortunately, it is very daunting for a teenager to take control of a game. A bit like being a copper and going out on the beat for the very first time. I have seen officials abused by parents which is totally unacceptable, so much so that my eldest son-in-law now refuses to 'run-the-line' at matches, for fear of lamping a parent.

 

I was at a youth tournament final at Crawley recently. A match was being officiated by a very senior referee. He started to get abuse from parents of kids on the losing side. He stopped the game, called the coach/manager of the offending team onto the pitch and a heated conversation ensued. I talked to the referee after the game, and asked him how he'd handled the situation. He told me that he informed the coach/manager that if the abuse/swearing from the touch-line continued, he would abandon the game and award it to the other team.

 

It worked.

 

It would help if young 'trainee' youth referees were supervised by experienced referees, but we all know this is impossible.

 

A good post on bullying, Kroons. I back you to the hilt on this one.

 

I was very pleased to see and hear 'Mr Burns' lambasting a certain goal-keeper on Saturday for excessive use of the 'F' word. There were a few kids watching the game, including three of my own Grand-Children !

[rusty]

Krooner when i ran Dorking under 15s i had a policy that parents were to watch and encourage but at no time were they to shout any form of abuse or critical comments at either the referee or players of either side , if to do that they were to take their children somewhere else . I cannot condone any form of abuse from junior players or supporters . I know iv had my time of shouting at officials in the past but now realise that you dont gain anything from it. " NO REFS NO GAME "

[Krooner]

Quite agree Rusty and we have the same policy.

[rusty]

God what am I saying have I seen the light ?

[bomaya]

Parents at kid's games do seem to get more carried away than regular supporters at adult games. I feel sorry for some of these kids being berated for not being world class by their parents who were never any good when they were young.

[Krooner]

We have 43 kids at our age group. All the parents are told before the season re coaching their children, berating the ref etc. They do behave themselves. Had one instance when I was running the team. Was trying something new and told one midfielder just to hang back a bit when we attacked. He did just that. 3 or 4 attacks in his dad shouts out "Come on get up there" to his son. his son turns around and shouts "Shut up I am doing what "Krooner" has told us to do". Dad immediately apologised to him. He also apologised again to his son and me after the game. Great stuff.

[Jeff Hamnett TSF]

ive never heard such lily livered liberal minded leftwing nannying in all my life.

 

these kids have a natural respect for authority, referees, the game and each other.

 

its got to be beaten out of them, and pitch side vocal reminders from the parents help, and then they can sit down together and watch super sunday and see how the pros do it.

 

as for the referees if they cant get used to being abused by players coaches and parents at kids levels, how can they be expected to put up with it if they progress to senior football.

 

[Krooner]

Now TSF if I didnt know better.....

[Terrence Collina]

What the hell are you going on about TSF!

[Big J R]

It's the 'Asahi', I tell you !

[Jeff Hamnett TSF]

after the tv game sunday sam allardyce mentioned the respect campaign. He said something along the lines of "asking for respect is ok but you have to earn it" in relation to referees.

 

They all nodded in the studio.

 

Surely the whole point is players should give the ref respect from first whistle, they dont argue every decision and they dont bully him when he decides against them?

 

Or does allardyce expect a perfect performance from the ref and then he might say well done pal thanks for turning up?

[SurreyLegend]

[Terrence Collina]

Ah, I understand now TSF. Yes your right, it should be given from the start, but it is a disease in the game that will be extremely hard to remove.

 

I would love to see many of ex and current pro's taking the referee's course so that they get a better understanding of the laws of the game, and how and why referee's make certain decisions. Perhaps then, they will behave better. You can't have all of the players doing it as the worst players to referee are those who are referee's as well (I am sure Krooner will testify to that), but if there are one or two in each side, then 'hopefully' it may help to give referee's repsect.

 

Perhaps the FA should insist that sides who run academies make all the scholers take the referee's course as well as studing their coaching badges.

[duncs]

I tell you SL the Refs want it all their way,i reckon football in 50 years time will be unrecognisable, if they get their way, you will have 11 refs per team, nobody will be allowed to talk, you'll have bars or a sliding door across the dugouts,the managers will only be allowed to enter the dugouts before the game and relleased at full time,there will be no contact oh yes the goals will also be removed because then nobody will have to get another fecking wrong offside decision and supporters will only be allowed to say nice things, so where will people like us go SL?