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Nette

By Nette
in Hornchurch Forum

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Nette Newbie

Nette

Posted
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Dear Hornchurch FC,

 

I work for a television production company and would like to give some information about a brand new television show to your members and football fans. We are currently casting for a new, exciting dating series and some of your club members and fans might be keen to take part!

 

SINGLE?...

 

 

NEW DATING SHOW NEEDS YOU!

 

Standing Stone Productions and one of the major TV channels are looking for contestants for a new dating show!

We are looking for energetic and cheeky men and women between the ages of 18-35 who are looking for love and a laugh. We want confident and entertaining people searching for a date

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Bitch Newbie

Bitch

Posted
Posted

Dear Love@standingstone

 

I wish to complain most strongly against your ageist attitude to 'finding love'.

 

Why should just the youngn's be getting it? I don't suppose you've ever experienced what it's like to kneel behind the East-Side stand in the middle of winter, dentures rattling just for a little cuddle and to keep warm at half time?

 

I dont suppose you even know that steradent freezes in a glass at -5?? Nah, didnt think so. You are probably sitting in your nice warm office dressed by Gok the c0ck with a feather boa round your neck.

 

I have had an idea for you. It goes along the lines of Blind date. You could do a spin off for the wrinklies like that young Cilla Black did. These youngn's could learn a trick or two from old lotharios like CAntos, the Hasbeens (brother speciality act), Urchinman61 (snake hips) et al.

 

Here's another idea for you. Mix the age groups up! It could save a lot of wastage in the cellar evil Hi Uncs!

 

Awaiting your grovelling apology and thanks for my ideas

 

Up the Oldies!

 

Bitch

 

CC. Gordon Brown

Cilla Black

 

 

 

 

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Darter Newbie

Darter

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Dear Love@standingstone

 

I'd like to add my (surgical) support to the comments posted above by Ms Bitch. You are certainly missing a trick if you restrict your potential pool of contestants in this way.

 

There is a common misconception that those of us of (shall we say) more mature years have forgotten what it's all about. May I remind you that age brings experience, and experience brings skill ... and if you really want a post-watershed experience, you need to up the ante a little.

 

My suggestion would be for a new show, which you might call "Sex for the Saga Generation". You'll find that we are far more likely to be flexible ... as we need to supplement our pensions and will do anything for a quarter of liquorice allsorts. It would be easy to get advertising sponsorship - just go and talk to Stannah Stair Lifts and the people who make those walk-in baths.

 

I have a great many ideas for themed shows and would be happy to share these with you for a small fee. You can write to me directly at The Dungeon, which is situated just past Vanilla Way here in Lancaster. I'm usually hanging about there ... grin

 

I await your response with anticipation!

 

Darter

 

 

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