What's the Worse / Weirdest excuse (true or false)

[Gussy]

you've heard from a player for missing a game.

 

True - Dorking away on a tuesday 06/07 player was bit by a spider while working in the basement of a house which left him with the shivers and a fever.

[johncrow]

Here's a few;

 

Teflon: The shop was shut so I couldn't get any shampoo.

Gussy: I forgot I had transferred and went to the wrong club.

Rattled: My head was in the clouds so I got lost.

Nut: Out of it on fertilzer fumes.

Lightning: On Jury duty in Hartlepool in the case of the French spy.

TSF: I was goner go but BJR wouldn't let me in.

New kid: We were playing Bookham but was afraid Lightning would be there.

BAD: I can't play my drum at midweek games as the nice rubbish collectors who live in the caravans don't like it.

BJR: No discount for pensioners.

And me: I ain't paying to watch you load of numpties.

 

[Guvnor No1]

Funny enough Gussy we were talking about that lastnight, a couple of seasons agao a player couldnt play because his CAT died, poor fella.

[Gussy]

He must of had strong felines for his pet ha ha

[Krooner]

Gussy that post is the best on here for fecking months !!!!!

[Gussy]

[Lightning McQueen]

Originally Posted By: johncrow

Lightning: On Jury duty in Hartlepool in the case of the French spy.

Yes we found the little blighter guilty and of course the rest is history!

[Teflon]

Originally Posted By: Lightning McQueen

Originally Posted By: johncrow

Lightning: On Jury duty in Hartlepool in the case of the French spy.

Yes we found the little blighter guilty and of course the rest is history!

LOL, just remembered the story, HAHAhaaa Yes he must have been guilty

[Big J R]

"The Pitch Is Flooded !"

[Terrence Collina]

how about trying to get out of the birth of your son, to tryand be at a game?

[Teflon]

That is shocking behaviour TC who could do such a thing

[duncs]

whilst managing Ash ressies asked the young keeper if he was ok for saturday he replies Yes and I tell him what time to meet and all the usual gumf,come saturday no keeper,he turns up for training on the following Tuesday so I asked what happened on saturday,he says well Duncs when you asked me if I was ok for saturday I said Yes but I meant no and I was to embarrassed to ring and tell you, kent kent fecking kent

[Teflon]

Footballers thicker than sh!!

 

Players say to me I did not know I owed you for the booking !!! Oh! so you did not know you got book then !!!! TWATS

[duncs]

How about this one then Teffs, phone goes and I answer,voice on the other end trying to sound in pain,hello duncs I can't play today, why? I ask,slight delay before he answers, eh eh well i'm sunburnt, WHAT I scream its the middle fo fecking January you kent feck off.

[Teflon]

lol These players getting on the sun beds during the winter, what a poncy bunch of kents !!!!

 

How about this one, player doesn't turn up for a game on the Saturday, on Tuesday at training asked why he said "he did not know there was a game " ....WHAT every fooking Saturday from August to May we have games, why was this weekend SO differnet from the rest.......Muppet

[Big J R]

Sitting in the bar at Meadowbank, well before a Bookham 'Home' match is due to kick off.

 

Certain DFC player walks in - kit bag in hand. Pulls up a bar stool and orders a soft drink. Sitting pleasantly chatting, when he wonders out loud what time the other DFC players will start turning up, at which point we informed him that DFC were playing AWAY !!

 

Deerrrrr !!!

[Rattled07]

I remember that JR!! Shall I name and shame him or leave it to you?

[Teflon]

C'mon spill the beans !!!!

[Big J R]

As a virgin once said - "My Lips Are Sealed !!"

 

[Gussy]

Originally Posted By: Big J R

As a virgin once said - "My Lips Are Sealed !!"