DISASTER

[GazzaBTFC]

NEWS FLASH

A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit in the early hours of Monday 06th March 2003.

Epicentre: Canvey Island,Essex.

Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering "fockin mentoe", "innit" and "cont". The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately GBP30.00 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giro arrived. Essex News reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Canvey. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said " It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two: Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Kilroy the next morning." Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, which include benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.

 

HOW CAN YOU HELP

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing, parcels for those unfortunate to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after, items most needed include: Fila or Burberry baseball caps, Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers), Shell suits (female) White sport socks Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark. Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include Microwave meals, tins of baked beans, ice cream and cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms, GBP2.00 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9, GBP5.00 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

 

Please do not send tents for shelter, as the sight of posh housing is unfair on the population or neighbouring areas of Vange, Pitsea and Laindon.

 

[Matt H]

Very good Gazza!!! I must honestly say I have met a few people like the ones you mention above, maybe your move to Basildon isn't all it's made out to be.

 

However we have seen the light and have been washed of our sins and been awarded a second life serving God... now it's your turn

 

Matt CIFC <img src="/forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

[Guest]

I keep promising to keep silent but as a Canvey fan and a resident of Basildon I have got to admit this is possibly the best post I have seen on this site for a long while.

Football and Humour lets all remember they can go hand in hand.

[pabird]

Good stuff & intelligent?

[GazzaBTFC]

Are you lot being sarky? - lol

 

Lads, you'll get me a reputation of being in cohoots with Cnavey supporters - lol.

 

I would agree that you guys have a sense of humour, which is nice. Not saying that the 'Ricay guys don't but we are in trouble and to degree that is hitting on "funny bone".

 

I'm sure that next season we will be on the road back. I hope to give a lot moere time to the club and to the supporters.

 

See ya soon, next tuesday isn't it.

 

 

[CANV EFM]

yup cant wait.. evening kick off equals more beer.. bbeeeeeaauuuutiullll

[Guest]

Just a shame it has to 7.30 k.o. - Still suppose have to be tucked up in bed by 9.30 - Or is it to save on the lighting bills...Oh, forgot, you did that with Gravesend !!! hahaha

[cangull]

Yes, but Gravesend brought some supporters with them!!

[YELLOW]

I thought it was you who should be saving on the lighting bills!

[Simon BTFC]

Quote:

Yes, but Gravesend brought some supporters with them!!

On the evidence of last night it would appear they took some of yours away with them!

[cangull]

On the evidence of last night, your chairman has driven your supporters away.

Then again, it may show that a good number at early season were glory hunters.

Mind you, I do sympathise with your true supporters situation, it seems you have all been troden into the dirt, with not alot of incentive to follow.